You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story

Annabelle Gurwitch, Jeff Kahn

during this hilarious and finally relocating memoir, comedians and real-life married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn end up that during marriage, all you would like is love—and a hefty dose of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir.
After 13 years of being married, Annabelle and Jeff have chanced on “We’re simply no longer that into us.” rather than giving up, they’ve held their courting jointly by means of ignoring traditional knowledge and fostering an absence of intimacy, through the use of parenting as a aggressive game, and by way of dropping by the wayside of remedy. The he-said/she-said chronicle in their excessive yet loving marriage contains an unsentimental account of the clinical odyssey that their kinfolk embarked upon after their boy or girl son used to be clinically determined with VACTERL, a really infrequent sequence of beginning defects. Annabelle and Jeff’s unforgivingly uncooked, uproariously shaggy dog story is bound to strike either laughter and terror within the hearts of all (not to say each human being who's considering the connubial state).
Serving up equivalent components sincerity and cynicism, You Say Tomato, I Say close Up is a laugh-out-loud must-read for everybody who has come to achieve that being “in love” can in basic terms get you so far.
On Cohabitation
He says: “Within days of Annabelle’s arrival, I grew to become very conscious that she demanded solitude and had the home tasks conduct of a feral animal.”

She says:
“The man had a few kind of nudity radar. whilst i'd take my outfits off for even a moment, Jeff will be in entrance of me cheering as though he’d scored field seats at Fenway Park.”
On Sex
He says: “I are looking to have intercourse on a daily basis, yet Annabelle in basic terms desires to do it as soon as per week. So we compromise: we now have intercourse as soon as a week.”

She says:
“Jeff says conversing approximately funds ahead of you've intercourse is a turnoff, yet it’s just a turnoff if you’re speaking approximately now not having funds. speaking approximately funds sooner than you could have intercourse in case you have funds is basically a turn-on.”
On Pregnancy
He says: “For God’s sake, all i needed to do was once have intercourse and not using a condom for a short while; now we have been moments from bringing a brand new existence into the world!”

She says:
“My ass was once increasing so speedy it used to be like a Starbucks franchise. On each nook of my ass there has been a brand new department of ass starting up.”

From the Hardcover edition.

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